Tania Israel

Professor . Author . Speaker

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Beyond Your Bubble: Dialogue Across Political Lines

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Reflecting typically feels more awkward for the person doing it than for the person hearing it. You may be wondering, “Won’t that be weird to just repeat back what they’re saying?” You might think, “They just said it—how can it be helpful for me to say it back?” What I know, and what’s supported by considerable research, is that people like having their thoughts and feelings reflected back to them.⁣

Reflecting is all about echoing or putting key content or meaning from the other person into your own words. It's like saying, "Hey, I'm really listening to what you're saying!" By reflecting, you not only show that you've heard their words, but also that you truly get their thoughts. It's a way to keep the conversation flowing and make sure you've got a grasp on what they're trying to convey. So, reflect on!

Listening may not be the most exciting part of conversation, but it’s essential if you want to have a meaningful exchange with another person.

Rather than considering winning to be about proving that you’re right and that the other person is wrong, reframing winning as strengthening a connection is a more effective approach to achieving your goals.

Political polarization is at an all-time high. Healing this polarization is critical to our country's health and democracy.

Dialogue isn’t about winning. It’s about understanding. These Dialogue Dos and Don'ts are simple ways that we can go about approaching a dialogue with someone who we may disagree with. I hope you find them helpful!

When you listen in a way that makes the other person feel heard, they are more likely to share information with you. And when you are actively listening, you are also more likely to take it in.

Dialogue is not debate (which is about winning) or diatribe (which is about venting), but rather conversation that promotes connection and understanding. It builds on a foundation of respect for and curiosity about views that are different from one’s own.

One of the things that can be very helpful in a stressful dialogue is to manage our physiological response. When we feel threatened, we have this fight-flight-or-freeze response. There are ways we can actually recover from that more quickly and manage it. Any of these ways of grounding yourself physically can help get out of that fight-flight-or-freeze mood and we can be more effective in dialogue.

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